Night tapping,nerves and prayers.

Even though I discovered EFT late in life,I still deeply and completely love and accept myself,believe in and respect myself.

I wish the above was really true,bit by bit insha'llah,slowly slowly,maybe it comes true.Did loads of EFT in the night again,couldn't sleep,probably because we have something important to do today.Often happens that if we have a market or something to do after some time not going out,one's nerves seem to go into overdrive and,no matter what,that much needed sleep just does not arrive.Oh well.
Trying to remember what I did it all for..almost felt like jumping up and writing it down at the time ,but was half past four in the morning!
Now..stuff around my mother I know that..about feeling trapped by women because of my weakness..Stuff around my masculinity,about being suffocated by mother's/women's love. Trapped by destiny and genes..about preferring to be in women's world to man's one.
Al around that sort of stuff anyway.
result?..got up for fajr with intention to do just the two and two routine..(two sunna and two fard without too much recitation etc) with the idea to comply with my duty without tiring myself out for work.
Result?..loads of time pissing around trying to sort out images of India for Personal Stuff blog!
Ay!
Cloudy day so far..sun just peeking through now..I want to go to bed!